[OpenIndiana-discuss] Native speakers' help with translation wanted

[Peter Tribble]

On Tue, Dec 4, 2018 at 8:42 AM Michal Nowak <mnowak at startmail.com> wrote:

> Hi,
>
> we are slightly updating the English "Welcome to OpenIndiana Hipster"
> home page one can see when starting Firefox on MATE installation medium.
> If you have release/os-welcome package installed you can see the
> (localized) page at
>
>    file:///usr/share/doc/openindiana-welcome/html/index.html
>
> Can a native English speaker read the changed text at
> https://github.com/OpenIndiana/openindiana-welcome/pull/10/files and
> provide feedback (either in the PR or here), please?
>

Here you go:

[Quite a lot of the native englishness is getting commas correct.]

"OpenIndiana is an illumos based Unix distribution"

Is it OK to use Unix, which is a trademark?

"OpenIndiana obtains its name from Project Indiana, an open source effort
by Sun Microsystems (now Oracle Corporation) to produce OpenSolaris, a
community
developed Unix distribution based on Sun Solaris. Project Indiana was led by
Ian Murdock, founder of the Debian Linux distribution."

The OpenSolaris *distribution* wasn't anything to do with the community, it
was purely an internal Sun effort.

"Oracle's Sun Studio has been replaced ..."

The Sun Studio compiler has been replaced ...

In terms of changes, replacing GNOME with MATE would seem to merit a
mention.

"When operating system is updated ..."

When the operating system is updated ...

"ZFS features like Boot Environment and snapshots are leveraged in every
    respect of the process."

Boot Enviromnents (plural)
respect should be aspect

"When Global Zone is updated, IPS makes sure, that packages
    in Zones are updated as well, or, at minimum, are kept in a coherent
state."

When the global zone is updated IPS ensures that packages in zones are
consistent with
the global zone, updating packages as necessary.

"The Crossbow network virtualization framework and Role-Based Access Control
    (RBAC) model frameworks are also very well integrated with the rest of
the system."

Role-Based Access Control (RBAC) and Crossbow network virtualization are
well integrated with the rest of the system.

"Locality Groups (NUMA affinity) have been provided by the core operating
system
    for many years, contrasting with other systems' reliance on
"third-party" libraries."

I'm not sure that's actuallly true, our NUMA support is pretty old now.

"Considering the cross-pollination of technologies with FreeBSD and Linux,
our code-base
had contributed in a notable extent to operating system's innovation. Hence
we still strive
for relevance, observability, and consistency!"

Considering the cross-pollination of technologies with FreeBSD and Linux,
our code-base
has contributed to a notable extent in operating system innovation. Hence
we still strive
for relevance, observability, and consistency!

"Currently build servers, hosting and bandwidth is donated by EveryCity
hosting in the UK."

Currently, build servers, hosting, and bandwidth, is donated by EveryCity
hosting in the UK.

"Because our success as a operating system distribution depends upon the
success of our community,
please, feel welcome in our mailing lists, IRC channels, and GitHub
projects."

Because our success as a operating system distribution depends upon the
success of our community,
please feel welcome to participate in our mailing lists, IRC channels, and
GitHub projects.

-- 
-Peter Tribble
http://www.petertribble.co.uk/ - http://ptribble.blogspot.com/